Topic: The Jokes Thread

[kavi]

Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"

Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".

Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working.

A few minutes later, however, the waitress returned and said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream -- how about with no milk?"

[GhostFriendly]

Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"

Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".

Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working.

A few minutes later, however, the waitress returned and said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream -- how about with no milk?"

You've got to explain this one! I understand that if they haven't got cream, they can't refrain from giving it to someone, but what does it have to do with Sartre, and his Bad-Faith illustrating waiter?

[GonzoJam]

Here's a one word joke for me: "Twilight"

[Pulsen]

Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"

Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".

Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working.

A few minutes later, however, the waitress returned and said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream -- how about with no milk?"

I get it. lol

You've got to explain this one! I understand that if they haven't got cream, they can't refrain from giving it to someone, but what does it have to do with Sartre, and his Bad-Faith illustrating waiter?

[kavi]

Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"

Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".

Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working.

A few minutes later, however, the waitress returned and said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream -- how about with no milk?"

You've got to explain this one! I understand that if they haven't got cream, they can't refrain from giving it to someone, but what does it have to do with Sartre, and his Bad-Faith illustrating waiter?

There are a number of possible interpretations but I think it's mostly just silly ^^;

[GhostFriendly]

1st Rabbinical student: The spiritual power of our rabbi is incredible! One time he was lost in a blizzard, so he prayed to God. Though it was stormy for miles in every direction, the air cleared for ten metres around him, so he could find his way home.

2nd Rabbinical student: Oh, that's nothing to our rabbi. One Sabbath he saw a dropped wallet in the street, but remembered that Jews can't handle money on the Sabbath. So he prayed to God, and, though it was still the Sabbath for miles in every direction, for ten metres around him, it was Thursday!

[GonzoJam]

2nd single word joke for me: Palin.

(Those who live in the state might know this.)

[MartAnimE]

Three men found themselves deserted on a small island.

A cannibal tribe lived on the island, and they imprisoned them.

The cannibals gave each of them a final wish.

The first one wanted to see his wife once more.

The cannibals went to find the wife.

After he saw his wife, he was eaten, and the cannibals made a canoe out of his skin.

The second one wanted to smoke one more cigarette.

He got his cigarette.

After he was finished, he was eaten and his skin was used to make a canoe.

Then third one wanted a fork.

He started to punch holes into himself, and yelled: "YOU WON'T MAKE A CANOE OUT OF ME!"

[MartAnimE]

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo Who?
I didn’t wan’t to make you cry.

[MartAnimE]

Man #1: I was swimming at the beach and a shark came up and bit off my left arm and left leg!

Man #2: OMG that's horrible! How are you doing?

Man #1: I'm allright.

[GonzoJam]

A pony walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" and the pony responds, "Can I get something warm? I'm a little horse.

- http://www.rainbowdash.net/group/ponyhumor

[Foxmitten]

Why was 6 scared of 7?

Because 789!

[Foxmitten]

...Well, it made me laugh. (sniffle)

What did the man say when he saw a lone pant-leg lying on the library floor?

"That's a turn-up for the books!"

[MartAnimE]

 A guy breaks his fingers and goes to the doctor.
 He asks the doctor "Will I be able to play piano after I heal?"
 The doctor says "Yes, of course"
 And he replies "Cool! I could never play it before!"

[noirlax]

Five Rules for Men

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home,
cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you
laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust,
and doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed,
and likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women
do not know each other.