Topic: .hack//STUPIDQ&A

[Fellini 8.5]

Okay, okay, I'll start it. 

Q: What special function do Subaru's wings serve?

[Section_8]

A: Duh. They're part of the "Wings of the CLAMPHawk" special set, and give her +12 Agility, +12 defense, +1 attack per round, Limited Flight and Disadvantage: Looks Ridiculous. If she farms the Mokona of Appapa enemy long enough, she'll get the Helm, Boots, and Codpiece of CLAMPHawk to complete the set and will look exactly like Cardcaptor Sakura.

Q: How does Kite fit all those Grunties and swords in his pants?

[Koveras]

A: Duh, it's the Law of Extradimensional Capacitance (37th Law of Anime Physics). Either it applies to virtual male characters, as well, or Kite is played by a girl IRL. ^^

Q: How come Subaru was p0wned so badly by that Heavy Axegirl if she had all those bonuses on her?

[Teufel]

A: Lag.

Q: Why did the evil AI think making monsters look like bar bells was a good idea?

[Section_8]

A: The AI had calculated that 99 per cent of World players were overweight shut-in otakus that could't lift their own body weight without stopping for a doughnut mid-way. Thus, barbells, the symbol of jocks everywhere, came to be. Their most devastating attack is "Kick Sand In Face."

Q: How can Helga the White Whatever cheat/hack so much without invoking the ire of the GMs? Or GMDave? (Google him, very funny.)

[JP Yuri]

A: She hacked into the admins' personal files and hold some dirty secrets about them they' hate to get out. Thuis, they let her do whatever she wants.

Q: Wait, isn't Helba the Queen of Darkness?

[Koveras]

A: No, that's Dark Helba.

Q: What is Dark Subaru like? ^^ (Sorry, guys, I seem to remember only Subaru well enough out of the entire cast...)

[MartAnimE]

A: There is no such thing. The closest to a "Dark Subaru" is .hack//GIFT's Subaru, but that's more of a parody and shouldn't be taken seriously...

Q: How is Aura's teddy bear called?

[Koveras]

A: Pechorin. ^^

Q: Describe the plot of the unreleased parody of .hack//Roots (the spiritual successor to GIFT)!

[Ombrenuit]

A: They ran out of money. End of story.

Q: Has anyone died of exhaustion playing a marathon session of the World?

[Section_8]

A: Too many. This is the terrible secret of space The World: every "AI" there is actually the phantom remnants of a player who died playing the game. Their PCs struggle on courtesy of intricate macros written by Korean Starcraft players, which explains the bizarre "Zerg Rush" scene of episode 7.

Q: Do any of these players have lives?

[Koveras]

A: No, just health points.

Q: How many The World health points would a life cost on the real-money trading market? ^^

[MartAnimE]

A: hmm... more than it's worth paying for I suppose...

Q: What is Crim's real name?

[Ombrenuit]

A: The irony is that really is his name 

Q: What would the characters of .hack get for their mothers on mother's day? ^^;

[Section_8]

A: A day of not playing .hack// so they can spend time with her. Awwww....which fails miserably, since mom's busy powerlevelling her Lvl 88 Dark Knight. D'oh.

Q: Tsukasa cannot get yea flask. What dost he do?